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Always Him, Always First.


I love this picture of our tomato or pepper (I can’t remember what I planted) plant growing in an eggshell. I call it my “mommy and baby plant” because of the sizes. So much about it is so cute. Generally, it gives me hope in the growth of spring. Specifically, it makes me think of myself and the growth I have gone through in the past 7 months of my pregnancy. It almost feels like I am a different person, which makes sense.

In the beginning of my pregnancy, my parents told me of how much change I will go through during the pregnancy and through the transition of motherhood. I thought I understood, but now I look back and realize that I didn’t understand them. I feel like I understand them now, but maybe when I actually become a mother I will look back again and realize that I don’t really understand. That wold be okay, because at least that would mean that I am still growing. Still growing as an individual, as a woman, and as a mother.

I love this stage of my life because of how much I have changed. When they told me I would change, I didn’t know what to expect exactly. That is the beautiful part, you can’t know what to expect because you haven’t gone through it personally. Also, I believe it is something that is so different for each and every person. Not just motherhood, but life itself. Sometimes it’s like you’ve stayed the same person for years, and other times it’s like you’ve changed drastically within months.

I am enjoying my changes and feel much more open, much more happy. Spirituality was my goal when I found out we are expecting. I wanted myself, the pregnancy, my connection with our unborn baby, and the birth to be spiritual. The amazing thing is that I had absolutely no idea where I should begin, I just knew that God had to be included. God was the answer, as He always is, and led me towards so many people and so much information that I needed in order to reach my goal. The way things came about and the way I came across life-changing knowledge, could only happen with His guidance.

One of my favorite things to do now is to look back at all of the different things that I thought was weird such as talking to the baby, or even my old opinion of thinking breastfeeding was weird. I like to look back at all of those un-knowledgeable judgments that I had in my mind and think of how thankful I am that those things have left me.

I look forward to continuing to change towards the better, towards the spiritual, and towards what is straight and beautiful. I look froward to looking back once I’ve transitioned into motherhood and think of all of the ways that I’ve changed from today. I guess the real reason I wrote this is so I can look back at this and remember that with any goal, I must seek God’s help first. Always Him, always First.

Allah · God · Life · Love · Motherhood · PregnancyProject

Pregnancy Project: God is Love


My little kickboxer,

I still can’t believe that we have been blessed with your life in my womb. Today, I cried a happy cry because the thought of you settled in a little more. I don’t think that the gift of you will ever settle in completely because it is such a huge blessing. A huge blessing from Allah.

Allah. The One I can’t wait to teach you about. The One who keeps your heart beating while you listen to the sound of my heart beating. The One who lets me breath, so that you can keep growing. That thought makes me feel love. Love for Him, for the gift of you. True love, something I can’t wait for you to feel when you get to know Him even more than you already do.

Allah · Life · Love · Motherhood · Plants · PregnancyProject

My Pregnancy Project: Into the World of His Mercy

There seems to be so much negativity going on in the world and it is constantly being shared in the media. This made me realize the importance of keeping positive for my health, and the health of our baby growing inside me. I should not find myself feeling as if I am bringing a baby into a violent world, because there is so much beauty that can overcome the violence.

When I found out about our little, big, gift I decided I would write a journal as some mothers do. Some notes on my feelings of excitement and cute stories that the baby could read one day. Who was I kidding? I am quite terrible at keeping a consistent journal, and right now I don’t have much to write about because the baby is still so tiny. So, I thought of a new idea, one that I hope I can keep up with better than I would a journal:

I plan to create a scrapbook, including pictures of things that are special to me in this world. Beautiful things about the world that bury the ugly things. Things that I can’t wait to teach my child about. While this plan is mostly for the baby, it is also for myself. To focus on seeking out the beautiful mercy that God has blessed us with. I will share my project online, so that others can see a little positivity rather than negativity, and maybe even join in on the project!

Here is my first:

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My little baby,

 You are as small as this plant. Like the plant, you started out as a small seed that Allah blessed with strength to grow. One day, inshaAllah (God willing), you will be even bigger and stronger. Even though you will be big and strong, always remember to stop to notice small plants like this one. Stop to notice the big ones too. Plants are beautiful in their own special ways, just like people are. You are special to me, and I can’t wait to stop an notice the plants with you.

God · Hope · Love

Same Old Love ❤🎶

Music has become a huge part of society, even though the majority of mainstream music is complete rubbish these days. I remember how incredibly important my mp3 player was to me when I was younger. Full of the All American Rejects and Eminem. I had to have it playing, constantly. Maybe that’s another reason as to why I don’t find mainstream music as entertaining as I used to, I got too full of it?

Lately, I find myself simply enjoying the beat or mocking the lyrics. However, every once in awhile, a song that seems to be rubbish is actually saying something worth listening to. Like, Selena Gomez’s “Same Old Love”…My gosh, such a catchy song that gets stuck in my head every time! At first, it sounds like another break up song, and that is pretty much what it is but if you look at it from a different perspective, it is an outstanding reminder. Take a peek at the chorus and see what you get out of it:

“I’m so sick of that same old love, that ****, it tears me up
I’m so sick of that same old love, my body’s had enough
Oh, that same old love
I’m so sick of that same old love, feels like I’ve blown apart
I’m so sick of that same old love, the kind that breaks your heart
Oh, that same old love.”

So yeah. She obviously sick of that same old love and I don’t blame her, especially since it’s making her feel like she’s blown apart. Here is my perspective; this “love” that we experience, this “love” that we think is true, isn’t. That might sound harsh, but let me explain myself. If at any point and time the love that we have for things or in relationships makes us feel like our hearts are broken, we are loving wrong. I’m definitely not talking about a situation where (may God protect us) you love someone, and they have passed away, therefore you are saddened. That is a much more in depth topic. I am talking about the situations that we humans are dealing with on a regular basis, specifically if we are not married.

“Loving” someone to the point that when they have wronged you or have left your relationship, you find yourself feeling lost is actually very dangerous. Our love for others should be for the sake of God. Which means that through God, you love the individual. That means that God is always first, and always in the middle. If we love that way, Allah (God) will be in our hearts so that if you were ever hurt by the loss of someone or something you will never feel insanely lost or blown apart.

People are torn apart on a daily basis because of their relationships with others, or their relationships with things such as money. So many people commit suicide, because of wrong connection that we have with people and things. People and things should not have the ability to tear us apart. The solution is, to be aware! Be aware of how we love, and always check to make sure that we love for the sake of Allah.

This is obviously such a difficult thing to do, but it is essential. We cannot go through our lives allowing ourselves to be thrown around by something that we think is love. It is beautiful to love, and love should feel beautiful! We should love each other, but we should always love God most.

May He, The Most Merciful, allow for us to stay in control of our love and our hearts. Amin! ❤