Allah · Birth · God · Holistic · Life · Motherhood · Muslimah · Pregnancy · Womanhood · Women


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Metamorphosis is the word I think of when I look at this picture.

met·a·mor·pho·sis: The process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages. A change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means.

This word comes to mind more often now as we approach the last month of pregnancy. During the beginning of the pregnancy, my Dad used this word to explain to me that I would soon be like a caterpillar who transitions into a butterfly. I fell in love with that concept but had very little understanding of what it meant. Now, looking at all of the changes that I have gone through so far, I begin to understand his analogy even more which makes me fall in love with it even more.

I was a caterpillar, waiting for my time. Today, I am a cocoon.

co·coon: A silky case spun for protection in the pupal stage. To envelop or surround in a protective or comforting way.

My body is serving as a cocoon, protecting our baby’s body and soul as they grow to their full potential. Soon birth will approach us and I will enter a new stage of life. This is something I look forward to so much. A new woman, a butterfly that will never be the same caterpillar. Something beautiful in it’s own way. Something I look forward to, but have no idea of what to expect… How will I feel as I emerge into something so new? How will my body feel graduating from being a cocoon for our baby? How will it feel to fly as a new person, a mother, a butterfly? What will I look like, will I turn into a butterfly with the same colors as when I was a caterpillar? What will I leave behind from my life as a caterpillar that is no longer useful to me as a butterfly? What will I bring with me, into my new being? And most interestingly, what will I learn as a brand new butterfly? What type of person will I support myself to be during this change and what will I gain during this new experience? So unknown, and so beautiful.

So beautiful, yet so much beauty still left to think of. Like the outstanding reality of The Creator who Created this experience for women to go though. “He has not given birth and was not born.” (112:3) But still, He Created for us to experience such beauty. A true blessing, an obvious mercy…

Allah · Education · God · Hope · Life · Love · Motherhood · Muslimah · Plants · Pregnancy · Womanhood · Women

Always Him, Always First.


I love this picture of our tomato or pepper (I can’t remember what I planted) plant growing in an eggshell. I call it my “mommy and baby plant” because of the sizes. So much about it is so cute. Generally, it gives me hope in the growth of spring. Specifically, it makes me think of myself and the growth I have gone through in the past 7 months of my pregnancy. It almost feels like I am a different person, which makes sense.

In the beginning of my pregnancy, my parents told me of how much change I will go through during the pregnancy and through the transition of motherhood. I thought I understood, but now I look back and realize that I didn’t understand them. I feel like I understand them now, but maybe when I actually become a mother I will look back again and realize that I don’t really understand. That wold be okay, because at least that would mean that I am still growing. Still growing as an individual, as a woman, and as a mother.

I love this stage of my life because of how much I have changed. When they told me I would change, I didn’t know what to expect exactly. That is the beautiful part, you can’t know what to expect because you haven’t gone through it personally. Also, I believe it is something that is so different for each and every person. Not just motherhood, but life itself. Sometimes it’s like you’ve stayed the same person for years, and other times it’s like you’ve changed drastically within months.

I am enjoying my changes and feel much more open, much more happy. Spirituality was my goal when I found out we are expecting. I wanted myself, the pregnancy, my connection with our unborn baby, and the birth to be spiritual. The amazing thing is that I had absolutely no idea where I should begin, I just knew that God had to be included. God was the answer, as He always is, and led me towards so many people and so much information that I needed in order to reach my goal. The way things came about and the way I came across life-changing knowledge, could only happen with His guidance.

One of my favorite things to do now is to look back at all of the different things that I thought was weird such as talking to the baby, or even my old opinion of thinking breastfeeding was weird. I like to look back at all of those un-knowledgeable judgments that I had in my mind and think of how thankful I am that those things have left me.

I look forward to continuing to change towards the better, towards the spiritual, and towards what is straight and beautiful. I look froward to looking back once I’ve transitioned into motherhood and think of all of the ways that I’ve changed from today. I guess the real reason I wrote this is so I can look back at this and remember that with any goal, I must seek God’s help first. Always Him, always First.