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Always Him, Always First.


I love this picture of our tomato or pepper (I can’t remember what I planted) plant growing in an eggshell. I call it my “mommy and baby plant” because of the sizes. So much about it is so cute. Generally, it gives me hope in the growth of spring. Specifically, it makes me think of myself and the growth I have gone through in the past 7 months of my pregnancy. It almost feels like I am a different person, which makes sense.

In the beginning of my pregnancy, my parents told me of how much change I will go through during the pregnancy and through the transition of motherhood. I thought I understood, but now I look back and realize that I didn’t understand them. I feel like I understand them now, but maybe when I actually become a mother I will look back again and realize that I don’t really understand. That wold be okay, because at least that would mean that I am still growing. Still growing as an individual, as a woman, and as a mother.

I love this stage of my life because of how much I have changed. When they told me I would change, I didn’t know what to expect exactly. That is the beautiful part, you can’t know what to expect because you haven’t gone through it personally. Also, I believe it is something that is so different for each and every person. Not just motherhood, but life itself. Sometimes it’s like you’ve stayed the same person for years, and other times it’s like you’ve changed drastically within months.

I am enjoying my changes and feel much more open, much more happy. Spirituality was my goal when I found out we are expecting. I wanted myself, the pregnancy, my connection with our unborn baby, and the birth to be spiritual. The amazing thing is that I had absolutely no idea where I should begin, I just knew that God had to be included. God was the answer, as He always is, and led me towards so many people and so much information that I needed in order to reach my goal. The way things came about and the way I came across life-changing knowledge, could only happen with His guidance.

One of my favorite things to do now is to look back at all of the different things that I thought was weird such as talking to the baby, or even my old opinion of thinking breastfeeding was weird. I like to look back at all of those un-knowledgeable judgments that I had in my mind and think of how thankful I am that those things have left me.

I look forward to continuing to change towards the better, towards the spiritual, and towards what is straight and beautiful. I look froward to looking back once I’ve transitioned into motherhood and think of all of the ways that I’ve changed from today. I guess the real reason I wrote this is so I can look back at this and remember that with any goal, I must seek God’s help first. Always Him, always First.

Allah · Life · Love · Motherhood · Plants · PregnancyProject

My Pregnancy Project: Into the World of His Mercy

There seems to be so much negativity going on in the world and it is constantly being shared in the media. This made me realize the importance of keeping positive for my health, and the health of our baby growing inside me. I should not find myself feeling as if I am bringing a baby into a violent world, because there is so much beauty that can overcome the violence.

When I found out about our little, big, gift I decided I would write a journal as some mothers do. Some notes on my feelings of excitement and cute stories that the baby could read one day. Who was I kidding? I am quite terrible at keeping a consistent journal, and right now I don’t have much to write about because the baby is still so tiny. So, I thought of a new idea, one that I hope I can keep up with better than I would a journal:

I plan to create a scrapbook, including pictures of things that are special to me in this world. Beautiful things about the world that bury the ugly things. Things that I can’t wait to teach my child about. While this plan is mostly for the baby, it is also for myself. To focus on seeking out the beautiful mercy that God has blessed us with. I will share my project online, so that others can see a little positivity rather than negativity, and maybe even join in on the project!

Here is my first:

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My little baby,

 You are as small as this plant. Like the plant, you started out as a small seed that Allah blessed with strength to grow. One day, inshaAllah (God willing), you will be even bigger and stronger. Even though you will be big and strong, always remember to stop to notice small plants like this one. Stop to notice the big ones too. Plants are beautiful in their own special ways, just like people are. You are special to me, and I can’t wait to stop an notice the plants with you.