God · Motherhood

The Real Reason.


Sometimes a wave of reality hits and I’m left to wonder why I wasn’t paying closer attention to reality. Today, a wave that I really needed hit me…

It has been one of the most patience-testing weeks of my entire life, as I wait for the moment to come when I get to meet our baby. Last week, I remembered that I need to be patient, that helped but today I remembered something even better. I remembered that nearly exactly one year ago when the above picture was taken, I prayed. I prayed and asked God to bless us with the honor of having a child, not for the sake of myself and my desire to be a Mother but for the sake of Him. This, I believe, was the key. The same key to everything else in life; to do and to be, for the sake of God. When this is done, life is so much more beautiful in every way. I can promise this.

My prayer was answered, but I got caught in the illusion that this baby in my womb is all mine and my Husband’s. A gift from God, of course, but a gift that I am partially in control of. This thought of partial control is where I went wrong. I lost full grasp of the fact that this baby is an honor, a responsibility that God gave us in response to my prayer a year ago. I almost got too caught up to remember the real reason I asked for this baby. I asked for this baby so that I could raise them for the sake of God but the forgetful human characteristic in me forgot that carrying this baby and giving birth to this baby needs to be for the sake of God as well.

This wave of reality has given me a breath of fresh air and I think it is juuuuuust what I needed to get me through these last weeks of pregnancy and birth. It is also a very important lesson for me to constantly keep in mind, with every single breath of my life and every single action I take. This post is by far the most beneficial thing I have written for myself to look back at, and I hope that it is benificial to others as well.



Allah · Birth · God · Holistic · Life · Motherhood · Muslimah · Pregnancy · Womanhood · Women


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Metamorphosis is the word I think of when I look at this picture.

met·a·mor·pho·sis: The process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages. A change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means.

This word comes to mind more often now as we approach the last month of pregnancy. During the beginning of the pregnancy, my Dad used this word to explain to me that I would soon be like a caterpillar who transitions into a butterfly. I fell in love with that concept but had very little understanding of what it meant. Now, looking at all of the changes that I have gone through so far, I begin to understand his analogy even more which makes me fall in love with it even more.

I was a caterpillar, waiting for my time. Today, I am a cocoon.

co·coon: A silky case spun for protection in the pupal stage. To envelop or surround in a protective or comforting way.

My body is serving as a cocoon, protecting our baby’s body and soul as they grow to their full potential. Soon birth will approach us and I will enter a new stage of life. This is something I look forward to so much. A new woman, a butterfly that will never be the same caterpillar. Something beautiful in it’s own way. Something I look forward to, but have no idea of what to expect… How will I feel as I emerge into something so new? How will my body feel graduating from being a cocoon for our baby? How will it feel to fly as a new person, a mother, a butterfly? What will I look like, will I turn into a butterfly with the same colors as when I was a caterpillar? What will I leave behind from my life as a caterpillar that is no longer useful to me as a butterfly? What will I bring with me, into my new being? And most interestingly, what will I learn as a brand new butterfly? What type of person will I support myself to be during this change and what will I gain during this new experience? So unknown, and so beautiful.

So beautiful, yet so much beauty still left to think of. Like the outstanding reality of The Creator who Created this experience for women to go though. “He has not given birth and was not born.” (112:3) But still, He Created for us to experience such beauty. A true blessing, an obvious mercy…

Allah · Education · God · Hope · Life · Love · Motherhood · Muslimah · Plants · Pregnancy · Womanhood · Women

Always Him, Always First.


I love this picture of our tomato or pepper (I can’t remember what I planted) plant growing in an eggshell. I call it my “mommy and baby plant” because of the sizes. So much about it is so cute. Generally, it gives me hope in the growth of spring. Specifically, it makes me think of myself and the growth I have gone through in the past 7 months of my pregnancy. It almost feels like I am a different person, which makes sense.

In the beginning of my pregnancy, my parents told me of how much change I will go through during the pregnancy and through the transition of motherhood. I thought I understood, but now I look back and realize that I didn’t understand them. I feel like I understand them now, but maybe when I actually become a mother I will look back again and realize that I don’t really understand. That wold be okay, because at least that would mean that I am still growing. Still growing as an individual, as a woman, and as a mother.

I love this stage of my life because of how much I have changed. When they told me I would change, I didn’t know what to expect exactly. That is the beautiful part, you can’t know what to expect because you haven’t gone through it personally. Also, I believe it is something that is so different for each and every person. Not just motherhood, but life itself. Sometimes it’s like you’ve stayed the same person for years, and other times it’s like you’ve changed drastically within months.

I am enjoying my changes and feel much more open, much more happy. Spirituality was my goal when I found out we are expecting. I wanted myself, the pregnancy, my connection with our unborn baby, and the birth to be spiritual. The amazing thing is that I had absolutely no idea where I should begin, I just knew that God had to be included. God was the answer, as He always is, and led me towards so many people and so much information that I needed in order to reach my goal. The way things came about and the way I came across life-changing knowledge, could only happen with His guidance.

One of my favorite things to do now is to look back at all of the different things that I thought was weird such as talking to the baby, or even my old opinion of thinking breastfeeding was weird. I like to look back at all of those un-knowledgeable judgments that I had in my mind and think of how thankful I am that those things have left me.

I look forward to continuing to change towards the better, towards the spiritual, and towards what is straight and beautiful. I look froward to looking back once I’ve transitioned into motherhood and think of all of the ways that I’ve changed from today. I guess the real reason I wrote this is so I can look back at this and remember that with any goal, I must seek God’s help first. Always Him, always First.

Allah · Feminism · God · Life · Love · Motherhood · Muslimah · Pregnancy · Women

My Empowering Body.


I am incredibly thankful my amazing body. I find myself feeling shy speaking about my body but I know that’s only because society makes women feel like their bodies are only sexually amazing. That concept bothers me, so I’m going to talk freely about why my body is so amazing. It deserves at least that much. Sadly, I’ve never felt this way about my body before my pregnancy. I’ve never felt this thankful, or this intrigued towards my body. So I’ve decided to make a list of facts that amaze me most, especially due to pregnancy:

The fact that my uterus is literally the home of my child; protecting, supporting, preparing. The fact that there is a placenta inside of me, feeding nutrients to my growing child every time my heart beats. The fact that my heart is beating to support not only my body, but my baby’s body too. The fact that my skin is literally stretching as my organs move to make room for my expanding uterus. The fact that my body is preparing to make milk to feed an actual human being. The fact that my body was made to birth a life into this world. The fact that I, Sabrina, have a baby bump. And the most amazing fact of all, that God is in control of all of it.

It so funny to me that I’ve never cared for my body the way I do now. I’ve never seen it so beautiful, or respected it so much. Never, in my entire life. I don’t understand why that is, why I was so shy to be proud of my womanhood and my female abilities. I remember in high school when we approached the “reproductive system” in health class, I couldn’t wait to be done with the chapter. I told myself it was awkward and gross. Nursing was something I didn’t want to do, because it was weird. I realize now, that the only reason it was weird is because we grow up feeling like our breasts are mostly for sexual reasons and much less for the support and bonding of our children. We don’t grow up preparing for what our bodies are made to do naturally. For example, we don’t grow up gaining an education on how to take care of your pregnancy, or how to care for yourself after birth. This isn’t in our education system so it is rarely in our knowledge. What is in our mind is the judgment, the expectations.

I saw my body as “okay” during the times it was skinny. I saw my face as “okay” during the times I wore makeup. During the times I gained weight and the times when I was bare-faced, I felt less than “okay”. Can you believe that? I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that I saw myself and my body as something less than it is. Now, I feel the complete opposite. I am so happy to be growing a child inside of me. So happy that even comments such as “Wow! You’re getting big!” and “You’re waddling.” are comments that make me smile. I am SO grateful that I have come to this time. This time in my life where I am learning how amazing my body truly is. It is beautiful, strong, and extremely empowering.


A special thank you to my Husband, my Family, my Midwife, and the many people who support me are helping me learn about my body and it’s abilities.

Allah · God · Life · Love · Motherhood · PregnancyProject

Pregnancy Project: God is Love


My little kickboxer,

I still can’t believe that we have been blessed with your life in my womb. Today, I cried a happy cry because the thought of you settled in a little more. I don’t think that the gift of you will ever settle in completely because it is such a huge blessing. A huge blessing from Allah.

Allah. The One I can’t wait to teach you about. The One who keeps your heart beating while you listen to the sound of my heart beating. The One who lets me breath, so that you can keep growing. That thought makes me feel love. Love for Him, for the gift of you. True love, something I can’t wait for you to feel when you get to know Him even more than you already do.

Allah · Life · Love · Motherhood · Plants · PregnancyProject

My Pregnancy Project: Into the World of His Mercy

There seems to be so much negativity going on in the world and it is constantly being shared in the media. This made me realize the importance of keeping positive for my health, and the health of our baby growing inside me. I should not find myself feeling as if I am bringing a baby into a violent world, because there is so much beauty that can overcome the violence.

When I found out about our little, big, gift I decided I would write a journal as some mothers do. Some notes on my feelings of excitement and cute stories that the baby could read one day. Who was I kidding? I am quite terrible at keeping a consistent journal, and right now I don’t have much to write about because the baby is still so tiny. So, I thought of a new idea, one that I hope I can keep up with better than I would a journal:

I plan to create a scrapbook, including pictures of things that are special to me in this world. Beautiful things about the world that bury the ugly things. Things that I can’t wait to teach my child about. While this plan is mostly for the baby, it is also for myself. To focus on seeking out the beautiful mercy that God has blessed us with. I will share my project online, so that others can see a little positivity rather than negativity, and maybe even join in on the project!

Here is my first:

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My little baby,

 You are as small as this plant. Like the plant, you started out as a small seed that Allah blessed with strength to grow. One day, inshaAllah (God willing), you will be even bigger and stronger. Even though you will be big and strong, always remember to stop to notice small plants like this one. Stop to notice the big ones too. Plants are beautiful in their own special ways, just like people are. You are special to me, and I can’t wait to stop an notice the plants with you.